Denisse | 19
C R E D I T

at the resturant with bae

waitress: *fills his glass with ice water*
me: *watches thot ass waitress pour a lil too much water for my liking*
me: you want my man or something?
her: wh-wat?
me: i'm just trying to figure out why u pour his glass first? im closer? why his water got so much ice?
me: I mean the glass already sweating bitch why u think he so dehydrated? im the only bitch who put ice in his glass.
me: everybody else got 3 ice square cubes and he got 5 circle ones bitch u think u slick huh? a circle for every minute u gon suck his dick huh? spelling out morris code for u can raw me in ice cubes huh?
him: aye calm down
me: nah cause she wanna give u 5 ice circles for what? its 72 degrees and mild 1 ice wud have been just fine. bitch gimme a male waiter--matta fact bitch when u get off cause its one too many ice circles and u think fat meat aint greasy
Posted: Apr 16th @ 12:00
Posted: Apr 15th @ 19:31
Feelin official now that I’m no longer sleepin on a mattress on the floor and some sheets for covers #happy #comingtogether
Posted: Apr 14th @ 21:09
Posted: Apr 14th @ 21:06
Posted: Apr 13th @ 20:57

ivysaaur:

priceofliberty:

hellabiafra:

vegasmo:

Human: “HAHAHA Animals are so dumb!”

*goes to war with its own species, uses up all of its resources, destroys its own environment, pollutes its own air and water*

Animal: *licks its own asshole*

human: *licks someone else’s asshole and calls it sex*

this is mY FAVORITE THING

(via mrpennstate)

Posted: Apr 12th @ 10:21
Posted: Apr 10th @ 12:39
autumn-will-come:

splashmouth13:

we-smoke-the-blunts:

platypusinplaid:

America in one gif

omg the eagle exploding it

How the fuck did they get a bald eagle to wear a suit AND fist bump Steven Colbert

pistachios

orangewave:

it’s getting to that time of the year where everybody isn’t quite sure if they should be wearing coats or not like you’ll see some people walking around in t-shirts and others wearing coats and scarves like nobody is really sure if it’s actually getting cold out or not

Especially in Kansas I feel like. One day I was wearing shorts, tank and sandals now I’m wearing sweats hoodie and thick ass socks

(via asvpnerd)

Posted: Apr 10th @ 12:36
stunningpicture:

Cookie in a milk cup.